I can’t believe it’s been a month since I posted here. The holida’s have just been so hectic for so many reasons and as a result I’ve struggled to find much in the way of writing time. I think I’m struggling with the next book in general. I have a story. I have an outline. I think I’ve found our characters place in the story… but some of it just isn’t coming together.
One thing I am enjoying is that fact that I’ve gotten to write a couple of action scenes for the first time which is a lot of fun. Action films, bad action films are my guilty pleasure. If I can’t sleep I’ll just pick a random straight to video action film on Netflix and that’ll usually do the trick.
Anyway, by way of apology for the fact this book is taking so long here’s a little sneak peak for the faithful. A word of warning… this is definitely going to be one of those things-get-worse-before-they-get-better type books. But they will get better… I promise.
For the first time in as long as I could remember I didn’t dream about fire.
I dreamed about her. I dreamed that she was at my side. Her soft and luxurious body, sharing my heat. I dreamed of a life together here on the mountain. I dreamed of a life together, a road we would travel into a shared future.
And when I awoke I was alone.
It didn’t have to be that way. Darla had made it clear she was willing to share my bed, even on a temporary basis. She wasn’t the only bitch sniffing around. I wasn’t their pack leader, not officially anyway, but I was the closest thing they had to one right now. Over time I began to suspect there was some kind of organised, ongoing effort to get me paired up with any available female. That they thought I would give in to temptation, forget about Carrie and claim one of them, and by extension the pack, as my own.
If that was their plan it was never going to work.
I was lonely. I craved companionship. But what I had felt with Carrie was so far above and beyond any kind of connection I had ever felt before that the idea of any kind of sexual encounter with another woman left me feeling cold and dead inside.
I had always envied those who had found their true mate. The one they were fated to spend the rest of their life with. The one that completed them. I had never expected to find my own. Not after Charlotte. Not after they burned my pack and I turned my back on my own kind.
For years I had been lost. I had turned my hands to many things. I had been a criminal, a soldier and a killer. When I was lost I had hopped in and out of the beds of humans and shifters alike. I hadn’t been looking for anything more than physical gratification. My needs an itch to be scratched before moving on.
But Carrie had changed all that. For the first time in my life I had felt it. The kind of connection that so many others had tried to explain to me. I had found my true mate. Except it was impossible. Humans and shifters could fall in love, sure. Although it rarely lasted. But not like this. The connection between us, and the effect it had on us, shouldn’t have been possible. In the end it all felt like a cruel joke.
Since she had gone every day had fallen into the same routine. I’d awaken and go for a run, before washing and throwing myself into any kind of work that kept me busy. Nothing in the camp that was broken stayed broken for long. I chopped wood, built shelters, hunted and cooked. All in a fruitless attempt to forget about her. It didn’t work of course. But by the end of the day I was too tired to do anything other than fall asleep. I couldn’t forget her, but I made sure I didn’t have the energy to dwell on her.
Before I had left her I promised Carrie that I would come find her. That I was on a mission and once I had taken care of unfinished business I would seek her out. At the time this had been my intention. But every day I found another excuse to stay. There was always something to fix or someone who needed my help.
Sometimes she spoke to me in my dreams. She lay on her side, propped up on one arm, giving my a playful smack when I ogled those magnificent breasts instead of paying attention. She asked me why she was still waiting. Why I hadn’t left the camp to pursue these loose ends. Why we were both still alone. Instead of answers I’d silence her with a kiss.
I wasn’t sure how long had passed. I wasn’t really keeping track of time. Weeks? Maybe a month? But there came a night where I didn’t dream of her. I didn’t dream of anyone other myself. Alone on a vast plain, howling at the moon. I couldn’t recall a time I had ever felt so alone. Wolves share their dreams with their kin. Some believe it is the echo of their scent, others think it is some kind of collective mystical experience. Whatever it is, they never dream alone.
When I awoke I tried to convince myself that it was a sign that I had moved on. That whatever cruel twist of fate that had brought Carrie into my life had been thwarted by my brute force approach to getting over her and moving on.
But if that were the case, why did my blood feel like iced water in my veins? Why did I feel as if something terrible were about to happen?
There was a frantic knocking on the side of the lean-to that I currently called home. Tyler, a teenage shifter who’d taken it upon himself to be some kind of personal assistant or squire. A complication I had neither asked for nor wanted.
“James, there’s someone coming. Big car, tinted windows. Smells like the man. Smells like trouble.”
I guess it was only a matter of time until my handler came looking for me.